Monday, May 2, 2016

His whisper in the chaotic morning

It's barely 8 am 
the crying and bickering are starting early again today, 
echoing down the hallway as I clean the oatmeal off the floor
and the counter and the cabinet
while my coffee gets cold again on the table

He kisses me goodbye, 
"were you up much last night?"
Because with this crew, it's never really a question of "if" we were up, but "how much?"
And there it is. 
That old temptation to allow myself to feel overwhelmed
annoyed, frustrated.
Then that verse I've posted in 3 places (because I always seem to forger) catches my eye - 
a whisper from the Lord.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you..." (2 Cor. 9:8)
An offering from Him - 
His grace will abound to me
so that I can abound in this holy secret place that He has sovereignly appointed to me.

Because when I'm talking with Him about it, 
the joy and honor of this role He has given me are what overwhelm me- 
 He has chosen to bless me so abundantly with these precious little people!
But somehow, in the oatmeal cleaning, sleepless nights, argument refereeing,
I forget the joy and honor of this sacred role. 
But His gentle whisper continues to invite me to rest in Him,
to rest in this beautiful hard work at my hands.
"Whoever wants to find his life must lose it..." (Matt. 16:25)
And this Monday at 8 am is where the rubber meets the road.
Am I really willing to lay my life down?
To lose my life for Him?
To lay down my hot coffee, quiet moments, long nights of sleep
to give the gospel to these 4 people in my care?
"Even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." (Mark 10:45)
If the Prince of Heaven would give up His throne to bear the weight of my sin,
This service all seems a tiny offering

Renew me, Lord. 
I want to know the joy of walking in your abundant grace each and every day.